I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
