Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
