last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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