just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
