can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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