So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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