How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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