He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
