did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
