I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
