I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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