I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
