well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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