in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
