I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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