While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
