Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
