yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
