i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
