Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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