Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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