You can't motorboat a personality
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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