Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
