Plan B is the new Plan A
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize