You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
