that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
