I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
COCAINE IS GR8
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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