I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
