He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
