is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
