if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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