just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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