stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
