I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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