Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
me + whiskey = a bad person
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
