just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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