she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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