he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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