If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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