Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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