im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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