Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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