2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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