At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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