I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
