I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
