Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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