Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
