guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
