carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
