I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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