Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
