guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
