Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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