Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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