Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize