found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
