Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
