best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
